What Would I Do Without You?
by Hohosexuality
Summary: Terrance and Phillip realize they love eachother, and then Terrance gets dangerously sick, causing Phillip to worry himself sick about his lover. TP slash. Gay slash, I might add. You've been warned. Rated for language and um... I dunno. Future stuff...?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Terrance and Phillip. :3 South Park studios does, or something like that... the names of the creators escape me right now. 

Phillip and Terrance slept, side-by-side, in bed together, as they had for many months, almost a year. They had recently discovered that they loved eachother, though they never would admit it to their fans, of course. Or even to their mothers, for fear of being unaccepted by all. Phillip yawned and rolled over, now awake, and wrapped his arms around his lover. He blew agaist the other Canadian's neck, a usually effective way to wake him up.

"W-what?" Terrance stuttered, blinking with surprise. Phillip smirked as Terrance rolled over to face him. "Oh, it's just you..." he muttered, and Phillip laughed.

"Never fails," he commented in his Canadian accent. Terrance sighed.

"You know I was going to sleep in today, Phillip," he muttered, sitting up. Phillip remained where he lay, grinning up at Terrance.

"I must have forgotten," the blonde lied jokingly, looking up at the dark-haired Canadian. "Lighten up."

Terrance listened to his boyfriend's command to 'lighten up' and rather than making a comeback he replied by rolling over onto his hands and knees above Phillip, moving in to press a kiss to the other's lips. The blonde Canadian invaded the other man's mouth with his tongue, exploring the caverns and crevices. Terrance did the same, inserting his tongue into fellow Canadian's mouth and falling into the kiss.

Phillip pulled away after a minute or so, panting. He grinned up at Terrance, and Terrance smiled back, plopping onto the bed on his back next to the blonde.

"S'pose we should get up," Phillip commented, sitting up now with a stretch and a yawn. Terrance groaned slightly.

"But Phillip, I just laid back down," he complained, and Phillip rolled his eyes at the dark-haired Canadian.

"Get your ass out of bed or no omelette for you," Phillip threatened, and Terrance obliged, as he would rather have breakfast than sleep in. He sat up again and his partner stood, slipped his house shoes on, and headed to their kitchen. He pulled from a drawer next to the stove a skillet and then shuffled to the fridge in his slippered feet and withdrew a carton of eggs. He placed the skillet on the stove and then tapped an egg against the edge of it, then cracking the egg open over the pan successfully. He repeated the process a second time with success; omelette-cooking was one thing he had skill in when it came to things like this, as Terrance happened to like omelettes quite a bit.

Phillip turned the stove on and stood there with boredom, watching the omelette and flipping it over after a few minutes so it would be evenly cooked on either side, much like the way pancakes are cooked. After he was finished with the breakfast dish he placed it on a paper plate and headed into the bedroom to go get Terrance.

Terrance could be found sitting on the edge of the bed examining a nasty-looking cut on his ankle. Phillip noticed this and sat down next to Terrance, one arm encircling the other man's shoulders.

"Terrance, do you know where that came from?" he asked, voice full of concern. "It looks pretty bad." Terrance shook his head, looking up at Phillip.

"I don't know. It'll be fine, though, it's just a little cut..." Terrance said softly, making it obvious that for the time being he wasn't worried about it. He stood and headed to the kitchen for his omelette and Phillip followed him.

Once the two were in the kitchen, Terrance sat down with his omelette and began eating as Phillip made his own near-identical breakfast dish. Once he was done with this he headed outside to get the daily paper and brought it in, sitting next to Terrance and spreading the newspaper for them to share as they ate together in silence.

The day was, for the most part, a pretty typical day in their household. They watched TV together, mainly cop shows, because they liked to try to guess who did the crime, shared fart jokes with eachother, went on chatrooms online and stirred up their fans, and overall had a lot of fun, as usual. About lunchtime, however, Phillip had noticed Terrance limping slightly because of the cut on his ankle. They had a short argument over the matter and Phillip finally accepted Terrance's saying he was fine, though it was apparent that the blonde was still worried about his friend. He tried not to worry, however, as it was starting to make Terrance quite irritable.

That night, as they were getting ready for bed, Terrance could once again be found examining the cut. He stood, however, as he noticed Phillip coming over to him, as he didn't want to get into another fight, and pulled his red pajama pants on, sitting back on the edge of the bed and waiting for Phillip to finish getting ready.

Once the blonde was finished, he climbed under the covers, and Terrance climbed in next to him, snuggling up against his lover. Phillip pressed a kiss against Terrance's lips which Terrance accepted willingly, then pulling away after a few seconds and trailing his tongue down the side of the blonde's neck. Phillip responded to this by shuddering slightly and then pressing a kiss against the underside of his lover's chin. Terrance smiled slightly and let his hand make its down Phillip's side and to his behind. Phillip smiled back and pressed another kiss against Terrance's lips, this time open-mouthed, which Terrance recieved eagerly. The two invaded eachother's mouths with their tongues and then pulled away after a moment.

"Phillip, I love you..." Terrance breathed out, arms around his lover. Phillip nodded in agreement to the statement.

"I love you too, buddy..." The blonde pressed himself against the other Canadian, brushing dark hair out of Terrance's face.

Terrance smiled and closed his eyes, falling asleep within a few minutes. Phillip, however, lay awake, thinking about what he would do without Terrance... probably kill himself, he realized, and found himself wishing that Terrance would listen to him about that cut on the dark-haired Canadian's ankle. Phillip could tell it was probably infected and knew from experience what could happen to someone who had an infection. If Terrance didn't think anything of it, though, he'd leave him alone about it... He closed his eyes and fell asleep, curled up against Terrance, after a few minutes.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I no own them. :P

About half past midnight Phillip awoke to find Terrance shivering in his sleep, despite the heat blanket the two had on their bed. He rolled over to face his love and found, also, that Terrance's skin was extremely pale. He shook Terrance slighly, beginning to panic, and Terrance awoke, blinking at Phillip groggily.

"Terrance, are you alright?" the blonde asked, voice shaky. Terrance didn't reply at first, closing his eyes and running his fingers through his dark hair.

"No..." he said finally, after giving the matter some thought, which was hard to do when you felt like shit. Phillip bit his lip and sat up, looking down at Terrance. He then stood, and without bothering to change into clothes more decent than his white T-shirt and pajama pants, he slipped his house shoes on, scooped Terrance up in his arms, careful not to hurt him, and headed out to their silver Honda Civic parked in the driveway. He lay Terrance carefully in the back seat and then climbed into the front seat. Slamming his door shut, he turned the ignition on and stepped on the gas, backing out of the drive and the shifting gears and heading top-speed to the hospital.

Once there, the blonde Canadian was barely able to fight back tears. He scooped Terrance out of the backseat of the car and hurried into the part of the building marked 'urgent care'. He then hurried up to the woman at the desk, and she merely had to glance at Terrance before knowing that something needed to be done immediately. She called a doctor, and after a minute or so the doctor and two nurses entered the room, wheeling a gurney along with them. Phillip set Terrance on the gurney ever-so-gently and started to follow as they wheeled the dark-haired Canadian back down the hall, but the receptionist stopped Phillip, saying that he needed to wait while the doctor figured out what was wrong with Terrance.

In the hospital room where Terrance lay, the doctor began asking him questions. he could barely think, having to be given two or three minutes each time the doctor asked a question. He was scared; scared for his own life, and scared that Phillip would take drastic actions because of this. He soon learned that his lungs had shut down, and that that was why he was having trouble breathing. He was hooked up to an artificail respiration device, with a mask over his mouth and nose, and instructed to breathe deeply. Which he would have done without even needing to be asked, for he had had a major lack of air over the past half-hour. The doctor cleaned up his infected cut and then left the man to rest. Terrance curled up on his side, shivering with chills, and fell asleep quickly.

Hour after agonizing hour Phillip waited for the okay to go see Terrance. It eventually came, and he stood, practically running down the hall and skidding into Terrance's room. He pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat, holding his lover's hand in his own two hands. Terrance smiled at the blonde weakly, and Phillip smiled back, tears staining his cheeks. He was aware that he had never cried in front of Terrance before.

"Terrance, please be okay..." the blonde choked out, smile fading away. Terrance nodded as best he could while laying down.

"I will... I promise..." he said, in nearly a whisper. He knew that it wasn't something that he should promise, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't bear to see Phillip upset like this, any more than Phillip could bear to see Terrance hooked up to all the machines and IVs. Phillip nodded, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. Terrance continued trying to make his friend feel better. "I don't want you to worry about me... Alright?" Phillip nodded again, sniffing slightly. He coughed, trying to get a hold of himself and trying to breathe. He ran his fingers through Terrance's dark hair, letting out a shaky sigh.

"What could I ever do without you, Terrance...?" the blonde asked, not really directing it to Terrance but to God himself. Terrance didn't reply, just watched Phillip with a dazed expression before drifting off into sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: not mine. Matt Stone and Trey... Parker's? o-o'

Phillip had to go home that night, though he went reluctantly. He spent the entire night worryong about his lover, not getting a wink of sleep. It didn't feel right to sleep without Terrance at his side. The next morning he skipped breakfast, heading straight to the hospital to see Terrance. He was outraged when he found the media there showing Terrance's sickly, sleeping form on worldwide TV, live. He quickly ushered the men outside the room and found himself alone with Terrance, the way he'd wanted it. He pulled a chair up to the dark-haired Canadian's bedside and just sat there, staring at him.

In the little town of South Park, Colorado, four boys sat on a couch, watching the TV intently. They were sixteen now, and their names were Kenny, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman. Kenny's eyes widened as he heard Terrance's name, and the four boys leaned in to hear better. The news reporter mentioned something called septic shock, and Kenny turned to his friends.

"What's... Septic shock...?" he asked slowly. Cartman and Kyle shrugged, but Stan quickly filled in for them

"It's like... something that can happen when you get an infection... It's usually fatal," the raven-haired boy explained sadly. The other three boys' jaws dropped.

"We've got to go see him, now!" Kyle shouted, just as Phillip was seen pushing the reporters out of Terrance's room. The other boys nodded in agreement and arranged for a ride up to Canada.

Terrance was awake now, having no clue what had happened while he was asleep, and Phillip wanted to keep it that way. He grasped Terrance's hand in his own, smiling down at his lover weakly.

"Are you... feeling any better, Terrance?" the blonde asked slowly. Terrance hesitated before replying.

"Not... really," he said quietly, being completely truthful. Phillip sighed, almost making it sound like defeat. He closed his eyes in thought, opening them a moment later.

"Terrance, my love, we will get through this. I promise." Terrance nodded, breathing in shakily and letting the breath out slowly, tears beginning to stain his cheeks.

"I love you, Phillip..." he whispered, and Phillip nodded.

"I love you too..."

After many hours of sitting in the car, the boys made it into the hospital. They quickly explained their mission to the receptionist, who was touched, and headed down the hall to the room where Terrance and Phillip were. They had been instructed to go in one at a time, so as to not stress out their two favorite celebrities of all time, and Kenny went first, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Phillip looked up, cocking an eyebrow at Kenny. He didn't recognize the boy. Kenny hadn't expected him to; he was sixteen now, and it had been seven years since they had last met.

"Kenny," he explained quietly. Phillip paused for a moment before remembering.

"Mc...Cormick...?" he asked slowly. Kenny nodded.

"Yeah. We saw you guys on TV." He didn't mention the fact that Stan had told he and his friends that it was likely Terrance would die. He eyed Terrance's and Phillip's interlocked hands and Phillip noticed this, quickly letting go of his lover's hand. Nobody except he and Terrance knew they were together, and he intended to keep it that way until they got married. Kenny pulled a chair up next to Terrance's bed and looked down at Terrance, who was sleeping peacefully. "Never would I have imagined..." He trailed off, shaking his head slightly.

"Imagined what?" Phillip asked, and Kenny looked up, hesitating before answering.

"Imagined that I'd see you guys like this. This is just-" He was cut off by Stan opening and shutting the door softly behind him. "Fuck..." Kenny muttered, getting up reluctantly and leaving the room. Stan sat in the seat Kenny had been sitting in.

"Are you all here?" the blonde Canadian asked. Stan nodded.

"Yeah... But we aren't going to let Cartman in, he might wake Terrance up..." Stan replied, biting his lip as he stared down at Terrance. "I do believe Kenny wanted to spend the night with you, the rest of us are going home..." Phillip nodded.

"I wouldn't mind that. It gets kind of lonely at home without Terrance around..." Phillip's eyes were brimming with tears at the mention of his lover's name. It almost seemed as if he and Terrance had never split up for a short period of time. Stan stood, walking around the bed to where Phillip sat and kneeling in front of the blonde Canadian.

"Listen, Phillip... I'm sure Terrance will be okay... and... if he... well, he'll be in a better place." Phillip nodded, biting his lip and turning away, tears staining his cheeks for what seemed like the millionth time since Terrance had fallen ill. Kyle stepped in and Stan waved a good-bye to Phillip, heading out of the room to stand with his friends.

Kyle sat in the one empty chair in the room as had Stan and Kenny before him. He glanced from Terrance to Phillip, not really having anything to say. It was insane, how could he not have anything to say? He felt like a total idiot, he and Phillip staring across the room at eachother. "Hi," the redhead said finally, realizing how retarded that must have sounded. Phillip nodded in response and stared at the wall directly in front of him. It was clear to Kyle that this was stressing Phillip out to a great extent, and he could understand that. After his time was up, he stood and left the room.

Cartman, Kyle, and Stan went home, but Kenny stayed behind, as had been planned. He entered the room again to find the blonde Canadain practically sobbing. THe American walked over quietly and touched the older man's shoulder gently.

"Phillip, we have to go..." he said gently. The normally happy, comical man nodded silently and stood. The two blondes left together, and Phillip drove home in silence, his newfound friend sitting quietly in the passenger's seat. 


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: Matt Stone's and Trey Parker's characters. Not mine. Even though I can mutilate the characters to my liking. 8D

Once Phillip had shown Kenny around the house and offered him some dinner, which the American politely refused, saying he was too used to not eating, the two of them got ready for bed, in seperate rooms of course, though they had to sleep in the same bed because it was the only one in the house. It was rather awkward to Kenny to be sleeping with one of his favorite celebrities, but he didn't really mind. He was bi, after all... if it ever came to that, which the American doubted.

When the two of them were finished getting into more comfortable clothes for the night, Kenny went to Terrance's and Phillip's room and found the blonde Canadian already under the covers, asleep. The boy hesitated before climbing in next to him, and soon fell asleep.

The next morning Kenny was once again offered food, and he once again refused it, so the two blondes ended up leaving without eating, heading to the hospital once more to see Terrance.

Once they were at the hospital, they learned that Terrance was possibly not going to make it. Phillip did his best not to get upset as he walked slowly down the hall to Terrance's room, Kenny by his side the entire way. The American stood by a far wall, but the Canadian pulled up a chair next to his lover's bed as he had every day since Terrance had first gotten sick. He started to reach his hand up to hold the other man's hand but then let it fall, remembering the boy in the room. Terrance blinked, furrowing his brow slightly, and reached for Phillip's hand weakly. Phillip glanced at Kenny and the American shrugged.

"I don't care if you're gay or whatever. Doesn't bother me," he said quietly, and Phillip smiled.

"Thanks..." The Canadian grasped Terrance's hand in his own, and Kenny watched, smiling slightly. He thought it touching that Phillip was with Terrance every the step of the way. Some people would simply go on with their lives for the most part, dropping by once or twice a day, but Phillip forfeited everything for his friend... Everything. The Canadian had come every day just to see this man, spent nearly every waking moment to spend time with him. Kenny almost didn't understand how someone could do that. He supposed he'd never had friends this close, though, and none of his girlfriends ever seemed to care either.

Hours later Terrance was barely hanging onto his life. He was sleeping peacefully as his life slowly slipped away from him, but Phillip was in tears again, Kenny doing his best to comfort the Canadian, to no avail. The blonde Canadian stroked the dying man's hair lovingly, and within a matter of minutes, Terrance was gone. Forever. It was so quick that at first Phillip didn't realize it, but he was sobbing once he did find out. Kenny held the man in his arms, and he cried on the boy's shoulder. A nurse came in to check on Terrance, and Kenny quickly explained that the man had passed away. Within the next hour, the world knew. Phillip didn't care. He sat next to Terrance's bedside for hours, unable to control his sobs.

Eventually, Kenny managed to get Phillip to go home. The blonde Canadian sat on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest, body shaking with sobs, as his American friend tried his best to comfort the man, his attempts turning out to be in vain. Phillip's crying eventually ceased but he didn't move, nor did Kenny, throughout the entire night. The American stayed by his friend's side simply to be sure he didn't do anything drastic. Kenny knew what it was like to be depressed... the only difference between his death and what would happen if Phillip died was that Phillip wouldn't come back... Kenny would.

Kenny had gone to the bathroom, the only time he'd left Phillip's side the entire night. The Canadian took this chance to take rather drastic action, fishing a gun out from under the bed. A revolver. He had the cold muzzle of the weapon to the side of his head when Kenny walked in. The blonde American practically barrled himself into Phillip the minute the Canadian pulled the trigger. Kenny died on the spot as a bullet lodged itself in his brain. The former comedian pushed Kenny off of himself, staring at the boy. He didn't know that, the next morning, Kenny would be alive again. But what he did realize is that nobody would want him to die, so he set the revolver on his nightstand and just sat with the body of the dead boy for what seemed like the longest time. He then sighed, after an hower or so, spread his sheet on the floor and laid the body on it to be buried tomorrow, and slept.

A/N: The last chapter sucked, I know. Also, the story was short. shrug I may, and probably will, come up with a sequel sometime soon. Be sure to read the next 'chapter' - poem. 


	5. John Faucett Poem

If tears could build a stairway

and memories a lane

I would walk right up to heaven

and bring you back again

No farewell words were spoken

No time to say goodbye

You were gone before I knew it

and only God knows why

My heart still aches with sadness

and secret tears still flow

What it meant to love you

No one can ever know

But now I know you want me

To mourn for you no more

To remember all the happy times

Life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten

I pledge to you today

A hollowed place within my heart

Is where you'll always stay

By John Faucett 


End file.
